In Loving Memory of Joseph J. Lagana

Thank you God! Thank you Joe, thank you A.A. and Al-Anon for all that you have taught us. Forty eight years ago, we started our journey together, down a dark road that could have ended, but it didn't. God had other plans for us. How much God loves us Babe, you always taught me that!
On that January 1, 1962 we began a new journey together where you made a commitment, one day at a time and you asked me to take your hand and join you. I love you so much that I decided to give it a try, one day at a time. I am so grateful I married an alcoholic name Joe. You have always treated me with love, compassion, understanding and dignity.
Thank you Joe for fathering our seven wonderful children and being there when I needed you, in good times and in bad.
You are truly the most honest, fair and understanding man I know. Thank you for being the most wonderful Poppa our nine grandchildren could ever have.
To all who have gone before you, thank you for giving me the husband I always wanted and the son I never knew!
Early Friday morning, you began a new journey with God, as you always told me, "With God, All Things are Possible".
I can't wait to meet up with you again. Until then, know that you are in my heart each day and night. In fact, I'm having a GRATITUDE ATTACK!

I Love You Babe!
Your Bride, Love Joan

Big Island Bash in Hawaii - April 4th 2003

May, 2003 - Has it been that long?...I haven't visited this site in sometime but I always think of You, Joe and the example you set...Mike and I talk about you all the time...The many fun and interesting things about you...Mike hasn't posted anything here because, I believe, it's too hard for him to do so...But I know how much he misses you...You were a true friend to us...A living example of AA...And how it works...Thanks always for your friendship, love and support...We still miss you and we always will...Some people can never be replaced...I am in no rush to get to the Big Meeting but until we meet there...I won't drink...I'll keep going to meetings...I'll give back and pass it on...The way you passed it on to us. Thanks Joe for helping save my life and the thousands of others you saved by keeping the doors open.
Christina A.

hi joan and family
my friend arty s gave me this web sight today. what a wonderfull idea. joe and i had many mutual friends together.ron and father joe ryain. i miss the jones beach meeting and hearing my friend joe l share his gratude attack love to all, your friend in sobriety,joe schapiro
joe schapiro

Happy Thanksgiving Papa, from your loving family this sunday we will all be together at Kathleen's wedding. Your in our hearts. Love your Bride, children and grandchildren.
Lagana & Co.

I got sober on Jan.1, 1962, I have not drank since, and it was no resolution either.Wish I would have known you and Joe but will meet him at the Big Meeting. Found your website by accident.Feel free to e-mail me. OK?
CHUCK BENGSTON

Hello to all the Lagana family --as the 2nd anniversary of Joes's journey to the BIG meeting nears - just want to let you know that all our thoughts and prayers are with you
love and prayers
Dave Jean and Ian

Sounds like he was a wonderful man. My wife and I are new to the New Bern area and she is looking for an Alanon meeting. Are there any?
Thank you and God bless.
Bill P.

Dear Joan:
Relocated here to Florida a year ago and last month a young man appeared in my home group who mentioned Joe L. from the Jones Beach meeting when the young man shared. He said what a help Joe had been. Surely brought a tear to my eye--because I was also one of the many helped by him and by you too. Yesterday Artie (of Jones Beach and West Palm) told me about this website, so I am adding my name and love to the guest book and enjoying fond memories of trips to "the joint" with Joe.
With love--
sandy duffy

Dear Joan,
In this incredible age of computers, my sister Andrea has somehow managed to find this web site in tribute to Joe. Although it has been so many years since we have seen you or heard news of you,still to hear of Joe's passing is still sad to hear. My parents, Ceil and Jack have been gone for many years now. Had it not been for Joe my dad surely would have not had peace and serenity through sobriety for the last ten years of his life. For that I will always remain grateful. Joe was a great man and I hope that you will find peace and solace even though he is gone.
Helaine Portnoy Bennis

DEAR JOAN,
I REMEMBER LISTENING TO JOE AT THE SPIRITUAL BREAKFAST A FEW YEARS AGO. HE MADE ME LAUGH UNTIL MY SIDES ACHED. BUT THE MOST MEMORABLE TIME I CAN REMEMBER IS SPENDING THE AFTERNOON AT CHRISTINA AND MIKE'S HOUSE AT BACKYARD B-B-Q IN JULY. I SPOKE WITH YOU WHILE HE WAS STILL WITH US AND AFTER HE LEFT US. WHEN YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU'RE GOING TO "DO WHAT JOE WOULD DO" IT HAS LEFT THE GOOD IMPRESSION THAT AA'S MESSAGE CARRIES ON...EVEN AFTER THE BEST HAS LEFT US. WE NEED TO CONTINUE TO CARRY THE MESSAGE OF HOPE WITH THE LANGUAGE OF THE HEART. GOD BLESS US ALL & THY WILL BE DONE ON EARTH AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
LOVE AND PEACE,
KATHY TRANI
NEVER TOO YOUNG - TREMONT GROUP
KATHY TRANI

I thought some more about Joe and there are many, many great things to remember about Joe...I always admired the way he always talked and spent time with new people in AA...If there was a new guy around...He was there...I remember one day I was complaining to him about that the women I try to help don't always want my help and don't take my suggestions...He looked at me and just the look brought me back to reality...First of all, it was keeping me sober...Second of all, Joe was helping others long before I was...And he knew the obstacles...He didn't even have to say anything to me...I said, something like this "You have been doing this a lot longer than me"...You see, that is the Language of the Heart...Joe didn't even have to say anything to me...The Language of the Heart is what one Alcoholic shares with another...And sometimes, words don't have to be exchanged...I always try to remember this when the same situation happens...When the phone rings and I don't want to answer it...I will answer since that is what Joe would do...When I see someone at a meeting who has returned after drinking...I will welcome them since that is what Joe would do...When I don't want to take a speaking commitment upstate...I will do my best to take some of them since Joe use to go to Buffalo...You see, I learned a lot...I may not have said it but I was paying attention and learning for Joe...He was a true example of what Bill W. and Dr. Bob had in mind...He lived this 12 step program...Trust God...Clean House...Help Others... I am grateful to have known him and I am grateful to know Joan...He couldn't have been Joe without Joan...I want to thank Joan for always taking an interest in me...And I also want to thank the Lagana Children for sharing their parents and for continuing to do so...So...Thank you Joe, Joan, Lagana Children and Grandchildren!
Christina A.
Tremont and Gunhill

1 Year in Heaven...May 16, 2004
In Memory of Joe L.
How missed you are! "Gratitude Sunday" was at its best today. (But of course you know that - your presence was thoroughly felt!) The family and friends, the AA's and the Al-Anon's - we all shared our "ESH" and how you touched our lives in one way or another. The legacy you have left is in motion. I heard just a smattering of what you did in your 12 step work and was truly touched by your unconditionally giving and unceasing message of recovery.
After leaving "Gratitude Sunday" I listened to your final words at the Big Bash in Hawaii on tape. I laughed and I cried as I once again allowed the blessings of "the man in the white suit" to touch my heart.
With continued love, support and blessings to the Lagana Family on the loss of a very great man.
"Patti Playpal"

Sunday, May 16, 2004
What can I say that wasn't already said...Joe was a real AA hero, a mentor and a true friend...Besides always carrying the message at meetings he also opened up his heart and his home. (with Joan's help) He lived it...He talked the talk and walked the walk...He was a winner...And I am truly grateful to have known him...I learned a lot and hope that one day I can be half the AA member that Joe L. was...I do miss him...But he lives on...I will always remember to carry and umbrella so I don't get wet...I know that the meetings in Heaven are good ones and one day I hope to be at them with you, Gene, Gloria, Bill W., Dr. Bob and the many others...One day at a time until we meet again.
Christina A.
Tremont and Gunhill Group

Sunday, May 16, 2004
What can you say about a man who gave so much of himself to A.A., Al-Anon and Alateen except for the fact that I don't believe I would be sober today if it wasn't for Joe and Joan being in my life over the past 15 years. Joe, I miss you very much and I still enjoy our talks. I'll be forever grateful for all that you shared with me. Thank you for the honor in allowing me to be your friend, and as long as I am alive I'm going to do all that I can for A.A., Al-Anon and Alateen. Say "Hello" to The Big Boss Man In the Sky for me. Happy 1st Anniversary at the Big Meeting In The Sky.
Richie A.
Never Too Young-Gunhill Group Bx. NY

We only knew Joe for a short time, but we feel like he was a lifetime friend. His humor, honesty and commitment to recovery were an inspiration to both of us. We will always remember our lunch with you and Joan in Moorehead City, North Carolina. It was an honor to walk "arm in arm" with you. How blessed we are to have both of you touch our lives in a special way. God is good ! We love you, Joe. Thanks for the memories.
Love, Diane and Tom

To popa I miss you I havent got to hear any thing about Hawaii I wanted to hear about it but now your in a better place that nothing hurts you in Heaven miss you
Love Joey your grandson

Dear Grandpa,
I love you and miss you. I like ICe Cream, I hope you have some.
Love,
Sara

It was a special day when Joe came into our lives - it has so far brought me to 15 years of sobriety (and counting ) we have so many happy memories of Joe - and we will keep them uppermost in our mind-- they range from July 4th BBQ's to Christmas night at your house -sometimes standing room only-- also had some good evenings at our apartment (with our friends from Scotland) we cant forget the fishing trips -sometimes with Ian when Joe made him do the Indian dance to catch the fish -- we moved a few years ago - but always loved to talk on the phone and I was so Honored when you asked me to speak at your 40th Anniversary. It was my pleasure to fly up from North Carolina for such a special occasion. To you Joan, and the family we love you all - and keep you in our prayers
Dave Jean and Ian

WE ALL MISS HIM ALOT HE WAS A GREAT MAN AND FATHER AND GRANDFATHER HE DID EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE. I AM SO PROUD TO SAY HE WAS MY FATHER AND I KNOW HE IS WATCHING OVER ALL OF US AND I KNOW HE IS VERY PROUD THAT MOM GOT THIS HOUSE AND THAT MOM WILL BE LIVING IN HER COTTAGE RIGHT NEXT TO US WE WILL TAKE CARE OF HER MOM WILL BE HAPPY DAD SHE MISSES YOU SO MUCH WE MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU SOO SOO MUCH.
CHRISTINA

ok, so I'm back again. Today, October 25th was the Share-a-thon out at St. Joseph's College. The "bride" of course was there. It was so good to see her. Ironically enough, on my way to the Share-a-thon, I saw a man out on Sunrise Highway who had a beard and moustache just like Joe's. I felt his presence when I saw that man and felt it again at the meeting today, especially when Joan shared "her story". Thinking of you, Joe. I miss you!
Always...
"Patti Playpal"

Papa was the best grandpa i ever had and actually the one i got to know the most .. i love him so much and i miss him too and so do all the cousins and family . But im happy hes up there now and in a better place .. he did a very goopd job at his meetings and military and being a father to a grandparent and i thank him for that soo much ! well we miss him soo much and whoever made this page thank you :)
Melissa " Melsy "

When I think how you helped me I get a gratitude attack .
See you at the big meeting in the sky Pally .
Bob Laube

Joe, I miss you
JaneFinnegan

It is not goodbye, it is until we meet again. Meeting Joe and his bride Joan at my first convention with Alanon was the most memoriable experience. The love Joe and Joan share and the love that both give to others with their experience strenght and hope gave me a reason to keep coming back. Joe you will be truly missed. My love to his bride Joan who gives me inspiration to give to others, unconditionaly.
Roseann B

I'll never forget Joe.
The man who just looked "so right" in a white suit. Joe always reminded me of a sailor with his distinguished beard and moustache. He fondly called me "Patti Playpal"...like the doll. He always greeted me with a kind-hearted hug and always had an inspirational word of recovery for me, especially in my darkest days.
When I heard Joan and Joe speak at a convention one year, along with their son Joe, I was so taken back by hearing their family message of experience, strength and hope. How Joe fondly called Joan "his bride" always sticks in my mind. They were a power of example for all to see and emulate.
Then one day we were honored by their presence at our home group. I could not believe we had this infamous couple...and "the bride!" was there to share also. (Gosh, I just love THAT bride!) They shared their "ESH" with us. I was so moved, so touched by their love for one another and the love they showed all of us.
Every convention I'd walk into, I would always scan the room looking for their presence. This year will be no different. I will lovingly hug Joan and send Joe a hug up above. (Sure, that's how I got involved with conventions...the love got to me!)
I'll remember his phrase of having a "gratitute attack". (Sure beats having a pity party any day!)
To his loving wife Joan and all their kids and grandkids, your loss is my loss too. I wish you God's strength and peace during this time. Joe changed so many people's lives and left a great impression.
With love and gratitude for having known the man in the white suit.
What a special man...you'll be missed, Joe.
In the spirit of strength and recovery, I am and will always be...
"Patti Playpal"

My friend Joe,
What a blessing it was to meet you and Joan at the 21st Gratitude Retreat in Myrtle Beach, SC January 2000. There was more icing put on the cake when Joan and you accepted the invitation to speak at our Fall Tri-Area Round Up in Morehead City, NC October 2000. That sweet and inspiring wife of yours will always be on my top shelf along with you. My plan is to meet you at the big meeting as God is with me at this time and forever will be doing things that are impossible for me to do. Through our God all things are possible. Speaking for my wife Harriett and myself we love the two of you very much. From New Bern, NC in Service,
Alvis Collins

This is such a great picture of Joe - he will long be in our hearts!
Eileen & Joe - beach meeting

Joe,My name is Bill Sides,I met you at the Tri Area Round-up at Morehead City,NC.I got so much from your message and have used it in my own recovery.i presently sponsor one of your sponsees who moved from New York to New Bern,NC and you and god sure did a great job with him.Thank you
In Love and Srvice
Bill Sides

Will see you speaking at the Big meeting one day Joe.
Thanks for "passing it on"
Eternally Grateful !!
Mike Carroll
Thank you Joe for ALL your service and that great smile you always had this time last year you spoke at our AA 29th Anniversary and brought to us what this wonderful BB and 12 steps are all about ... I feel sooooo blessed for knowing you
Peace
Roberta Dasto
To You Joe
We all Love and think of you, now where you are in Heaven. A Gentle man who only helps people. We are so grateful to you. Until we see each other again
With Love
Hannelore and Willie Stuettgen
joe and joan were friends of mine. we were members of the Sunrise Group-Jones Beach, Long Island. i remember the night his son who was visiting died. next day he was at the Jones Beach Meeting. where else would he go. i'll miss that word "paly" he used. he was a lion with the heart of a pussycat. AA will miss joe. artie s west palm beach, fla but Always A New Yorker
artie s
I remember the day I met you and your bride Joan in a meeting at my first convention - a day I was blessed to have two of the most wonderful people enter my life. When I was going through a very difficult time a few years later and Joan, as a mom, wanted to take me home and take care of me you told her - Joan we'll be there if she falls but she needs to find her wings and fly. At the time it would have been so much easier to go home with you, well big guy, thanks to your wisdom I did find my wings to fly one day at time. I hold onto to that wisdom, especially now that I'm at another crossroads in my life with my health. You and Joan are one of the many blessings my Higher Power has given me in my life. I will miss you Joe but know someday we'll meet again. Thanks for all your love and support and I pray for your eternal peace big guy. With much love,
Joyce D
The strength, dignity and class shown by Joe's "BRIDE" Joan, and his family was truly to me, the most Powerful example of family, love and support for one another. It was one who once said " A LIFE IS NOT FULLY LIVED UNLESS IT AFFECTS THE LIVES OF OTHERS." In this sense Joe has lived, and will continue to live throughout the lives he has affected.
Andy P
GOOD MAN
BIG LEW
Joe, I remember the day when I bunked into you at your MTA post near the Sight seeing boat ride around Manhattan, was I surprised. You know in our programs it never seems important what folks do in their daily lives, as we are more focused on the person and the message they carry. You and Joan carry a powerful message of experience, strength and hope and I know that message continues in the hearts of all you have touched. May you rest in the arms of your Higher Power 'till we meet again. Love, Joy and Peace always.
Roberta
Dear Joe
Until we meet again, God speed Brudda
Gratefully,
Pete Whitman
They say that a person never really dies until the last person that knew thier name goes as well..... That means our "BRUDDA" will live on in the thousands of lives that were so lucky to have been touched by him.
Thanks for everything JOE !!!!!
Craig S.
What can a flame remember:
If it remembers a little more than is neccesary, it goes out;
If it remembers a little less than is neccesary, it goes out;
Perhaps it may teach us, while it burns, how to remember.
James Townsend Darragh
I am so filled with gratitude to have known you Joe, and to know and love Joan as well. You had the magic. The special something that always made me feel better for having talked to you. Loved your sense of love and humor. Just unexpectedly meeting you, put a big smile on my face, and lightened my heart (no matter what was going on in my life). May your new destination be one of continued love and service work, and please say hello to Lois W. (I never met Bill), Marlene and Mary K. I will always remember you.
Iris R. Sheber
I am so happy to have met you and Joan on my journey of recovery. You have been such an inspiration and given so much of yourself with unconditional love to others. I am truly blessed to have known you.
Yvonne M.
Thanks for all you have taught and will continue to teach me. I thank God that you and Joan came into my life. I am truly blessed. I love you, too. :)
Theresa V.
ALOHA,
WE ARE SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE HAD TIME WITH BOTH JOE AND JOAN ON MAUI . JOE WE ARE GONNA MISS YOU BROTHER. GOD BLESS.
WILLIE&VICKI PETTIGREW
i miss you Joe...thanks for everything, "palie"you're the best!!!All my love,
Dawn M
DEAR JOE
You were always there when i needed you, i'll miss you PALLY
Paul P
I have been blessed to have had Joe touch my heart. I learned so much from you and your bride (my wonderful sponsor!). Thank you for teaching me so much about relationships, life and love. Our Hawaii trip was such an awesome experience. As we learned on the 'Road to Hana', life is about the journey, not the destination. Thank you for being a part of my journey. I will miss you so very much. Say "hi" to Marlene for me! "I used to believe THINKING was the highest function of human beings...I now realize LOVING is our supreme function. The heart precedes the mind." Lois Remembers p.196
With Love, Hugs and GRATITUDE! one of your Al-Anon girls; Angie
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THERE COMMENTS AND SUPPORT TO MY FAMILY MY DAD WILL BE MISSED SO MUCH HE WAS THE BEST FATHER ANY ONE WOULD EVER WANT I LOVE YOU DAD LOVE ALWAYS YOUR NEENIE.
neene from pasadene
TILL WE MEET AGAIN BROTHER 
BYRON
Thank you Joe for all that you did and for being you.........Peace 
Johnny B
I will never forget you.  
Laura B
May we all remember the lesson of loving those that are around us...while they are around us. Joe was a good man. Joe was an excellent example of H.O.W. it works. I will miss him...but i look forward to seeing him in the hereafter...God bless Joe Lagana.
Tony Della Rocca
Thank you Joe for being a part of our "adventures". Joan, thank you for being part of Joe's.....Peace
Dave D. and Annie O
Friends,and Friends,of Friends = Much Love, Peace,MB.
Mickey B
I'm having a GRATITUDE ATTACK because I was blessed to have you in my life Pally.. much love to Joan... my absolute favorite true ladies..one of my best laughs is when i think of San Diego..when Joe was told that he wasn't an old timer and they said keep coming back kid... .Joni
joni evans
You will be truly missed "pally."
Jennifer Lynch
You will truly be missed
Lorie B
Joe was,and still is a power of example.He will be greatly missed.  
John Kuhner
REST IN PEACE PALLY 
ED CONNELLY
My prayers go out to Joe's bride. He will always hold a special place in my heart.
MJ
Joe Lagana was one of the sweetest, most honest man I ever met. I loved the way he referred to Joan as "my bride" and with such love. What a wonderful tribute to Joe, to have his own website. "Rest in peace, Pally!" May God continue to bless his family.
Much love & big hugs
Patti Sarka
mahalo for the beautiful web page....it touched my heart and soul just as Joe did.......
Marion Berliner
Joe Even Though I Don't no you I Have Felt The Power You Do leave behind
Wayne E
To a very courteous man Joe Lagana
He will always be in my heart and memory forever.
He stands tall in my book. He is the man that I call god.
Joe farewell in your journey with the man upstairs who I choose my Higher Power GOD. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY HIGHER POWER JOE LAGANA. I LOVE YOU JOE.
Michael P Harris
Joe will be dearly missed by all of us here at The Wilson House. Our sympathy to his wife, Joan, and family. We will never forget Joe, a great man who gave so willingly to all!
Ozzie & Bonnie Lepper
Joe was always one of my favorite people. He will always be my Pally. His words touched more and more people... more than he will ever know. Although he never DID make it to the old-timers meeting at the International I know he's running the next old-timers meeting up there. I love ya Joe.
lil g
Glenn Karuschkat
Thank You so much for all that you have done for our family. Thank You for this web page as well.
Love,
JoAnn and Spanky
Our Prayers Are with all of you guys 
Chuck & Dawn
Thanks for making this beautiful page. I miss him SO much too. 
Kathy Lagana
What a great guy. I feel privileged to know him and his bride. He's the best.
Kathy Hansen
Dear Joe
You have touched our lives. You will always be with us just from a different place. You will always continue to be there. What you have taught us will always live on. Our hearts ache because we are separated for now. The comfort comes in knowing that your spirit is alive. We will miss you but know that we will meet again one day. For now we need to take it a day at a time.
Love Mary, Jessica, your Godson Eric
and Eddie Stuettgen